Breaking News: Usain Bolt Is So Fast He Evacuated JFK

Usain Bolt won his third straight gold in his 100M race tonight in Rio, and apparently he was so fast that he may have had factored into the evacuation at JFK tonight.

Earlier tonight, there were unconfirmed reports that shots had been fired at JFK’s Terminal 8.

Thankfully, as officials investigated further, apparently it was determined that no shots had actually been fired.

So what was the reason? Nobody knows for sure, but apparently the report had come in at around 9:30 ET, which was just a minute after the conclusion of Usain Bolt’s race. In other words, there were probably a bunch of people in the terminal who where watching the race and clapping like crazy and banging on tables.

It’s good to hear that this was just a false alarm, and kudos to the authorities at JFK who conducted a quick yet thorough and effective investigation into the matter.

Hey IOC, maybe you could learn a thing or two from them?


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